Live in the Moment

Stepping off the plane in Phnom Penh, there were so many things running through my head. Excitement, nervousness, tiredness, happiness, and so much more. I don't think that I actually realized we were in Cambodia until the afternoon of the first day. Coming off the plane, the first thing I noticed was the humidity. The heat didn't seem as bad as I expected, but the humidity caught me by surprise. I also noticed the different smell. I can't quite describe it, but it was definitely one of the things I noticed. Going from the airport to the Guest House was quite an experience on its own. We had to fit 22 (50 pound) suitcases, 13 people, and 11 very full backpacks into a small little van, it was very cramped, but we made it all work. On the way to the guest house, I couldn't stop smiling! If it was uncomfortable, I didn't notice. All I noticed was what was outside the window, the city that I would call home for the next 2 weeks. I loved it already.

Wednesday, July 3 (Day 1)

In the morning, we went up to breakfast, met our beautiful, wonderful translator, Meng, and went over some of the vocabulary. It was more helpful than you could imagine, the words aren't always the easiest to pronounce. After we had finished breakfast, we headed downstairs to the tuk tuks. I love the tuk tuks so much! I love going through the city and smiling and waving at everyone I see, and seeing them smile and wave back at me, makes me so happy! It's so wonderful to see how genuinely friendly they are, and I appreciate every smile I see coming my way. The first stop of the day was to the Toul Sleng (also called S21) Museum. I know that all of us had a lot of difficulty hearing about what had happened there, and seeing it as well. Our guide herself had lost her father, her brother, and a sister to the Khmer Rouge. We went inside of rooms where you could still see blood stains on the floor from where people were tortured. We saw the tiny cells that were barely enough space for one person, yet they often held two. We saw pictures of the victims, some of which had numbers pinned into their bare chests. It made me feel ill. To know that any person, no matter what race, ethnicity, income, or status, could do that to another person makes me sick. It's absolutely disgusting, and it makes me sad that anyone could taint our beautiful planet by staining it with the blood of their own people. We also took a tour of the Killing Fields, where you could see pieces of bone and cloth where lives had been taken. I felt many of the same things there that I did in Toul Sleng. The last stop of our day was the orphanage! Many of the children were in school, but most all of the older kids were there, and it was so nice to be able to meet them, find out their names, play games with them, etc. They were all wonderful, and very encouraging despite my lack of athletic ability. At the end of the day, we learned the phrase “joop k'nea kanaisa-ai” which means 'see you tomorrow'. Learning that was such an important moment for me, because it made me realize that I actually am in Cambodia, working at an orphanage, doing my part to serve and make the world a better place. It meant a lot to me, and I'm just so incredibly happy that I'm here, and that I have this opportunity.

Thursday, July 4 (Day 2)

Happy 4^th of July everyone! Hope today was/is wonderful. Today was our first actual work day at the orphanage. We split up, half of us went to the school and the library, while half of us stayed at the orphanage to clean and do manual labor. In the morning, I was assigned to clean one of the bathrooms. It was hard work, but through the whole thing, all I could think about was how I was doing this for the kids, how it would mean the world to them. In the afternoon, we all kind of sat down and stopped working, while the leaders and Kevin went out and started work on the boys house. Most of us didn't realize that they were working. There was one who did, and he went out and helped. At one point in the day, I walked outside with a little girl, saw what they were doing, and didn't go out to help until an hour later. I would like to apologize to Lisa Marie, Kevin, Scott, Jamie, and Karlie for that. I know that I'm going to have to do better tomorrow, and that's exactly what I plan to do. While right now I am very frustrated and disappointed with myself for not giving it my all, I know that I can't do anything about what's already happened now and I will do better tomorrow.

The kids are absolutely, without question, the most wonderful people I have ever met. They are so loving, and well rounded, and live every day, moment, and second to the absolute fullest that it can be. I am trying to learn all of their names, which can be hard, but I'm getting it done. A few of them are Lavin, Nirot, Niron, Srey Neit, Srey Na, and Srey Pi. There are so many more and they are all so amazing that it makes me want to work harder, for them. They're just so open with everything they have. The first thing that happened when I stepped out of the tuk tuk the first time at the orphanage was that Srey Pi hugged me. She didn't know who I was, she didn't know my name, but it didn't matter. She was just so happy that I was there at all, and it was the most incredible experience for me. I felt so overjoyed that these kids wanted to know us, they wanted to love us, and have us love them right back. It makes me so happy that these kids so want us in their lives, and I just want to do everything I can for them.

I think that the most important thing that I've learned in the past 2 days is that in life, you need to live in the moment. Be present, and give everything you have. It's alright to look forward to tomorrow, but don't depend on it. Don't rely on anything that isn't already taking place. Every moment in life is so precious, and if you don't seize it, you'll regret it, and no one wants that.